Sunday, October 16, 2011

One Call Does it All

The Chelsea Boys comic in the October 2011 issue of Odyssey Magazine Hawaii, has a storyline involving calling upp an "escort" from one of the ads in a magazine, similar to the ones in most "fag rags", including Odyssey.

I've never called upp one of them ads, but as in most professional transactions, there's an etiquette to handling the situation. Some of the sites I Googled on such etiquette are from foreign countries, where it's legal to pay for sex, so be cautious and informed of local laws before embarking on your adventure.

Googling "Honolulu Escorts" turned upp a lot of sites, but I haven't called any of them, so I can't give much opinion or info. There's even a @HonoluluEscorts Twitter account, but some of the tweets sound weird:

@honoluluescorts New in Honolulu Escorts: Kelly - White Female Brown Escort

I think the "Brown" is referring to her hair colour... Unless she's a scat queen? Please don't call her and tell her I said that. I don't know any of the girls in them tweets, and a lot of them are worded like that.

Anyway, here are a few of the sites I read with tips on how to hire someone, and what to expect:

The now defunct "Mentertainment" Gentleman's mag from the US East Coast, gives some tips I wasn't ready for. Their emphasis on showing an escort your ID just sounds scary. I can understand the need for the escort's safety, but giving a stranger such intimate details sounds unsafe as well. I guess with the internet you could easily screen a prospective date, which is why they suggest it. But since I don't know too many call girls, and am more familiar with casual dating, or street walkers, it's a new concept to me.

"Diary of an Escort" by polyamourous former dominatrix Isabella, says some things that contradict a lot of sites I checked out. One that stood out is from "Ten Tips if You are Hiring an Escort for the First Time". That entry advises, "Do not use your real name, phone number or e-mail to contact her." To me that sounds expected. I myself rarely use my real name with strangers I have sex with, and with the age of the internet, it just seems normal to expect someone to use a fake name. As well-intentioned and well-informed as she seems, Isabella still gives questionable advice in quite a few posts. "Twenty basic things for guys that want to hire an escort should know", says straight upp that it's illegal in most US states; however that's not entirely true. It's legal to pay for someone's company I believe, but exchanging money for sex is illegal. Of course, there's ways around that, and I think that's what she's referring to. Number 9 in her 10 reasons for not being on Facebook was funny: "9. More spam then in the whole state of Hawaii." (sic)

"Personal Companion" Jaimie Ansaloni hasn't uppdated his site in a while, so I'm not sure what's going on with him, but for his site, he adapted some tips from "How to use Escort Services - A Men's Guide" By Marc Perkel. Marc's site is formatted kinda weird, and super long, so get over the gay angle of Jaimie's site, if you want a condensed version. And if Jaimie's site isn't upp, there's a hijacked version on an Australian site.

"Sex work advocate" Erika Jones has a brief run-down of how to hire a girl. It seems to be written out of irritation & frustration, and though you can't hear her tone over the internet, the words she chooses are pretty direct.

Someone named "Leah" who ran an escort service (the site is down, so I'm not sure if they're still operating) wrote a "How to" article, that is helpful. What I found interesting is that, although she runs an agency, she recommends seeking out "independent" girls, since they get to keep all the money they earn on the date.

From everything I've read, these are the basic things I've learned:
1. Know the laws in your area. Sex for money is illegal in Hawaii, and most places in the US, except for some rural counties in Nevada. Careful what you say and how you conduct yourself.

2. Always be prepared to pay the agreed upon amount IN CASH. And usually leave it somewhere easily visible when you meet. Don't haggle or underpay, or otherwise create an awkward situation.

3. Always use condoms. This is for the safety of both parties. If you have a brand preference, supply it yourself, or request your date bring some.

4. If there is a website for your date, familiarize yourself with everything, so as not to waste time or be redundant while making arrangements.

5. Know what you want, but be careful how you say it. Don't talk dirty on the phone, or be indiscreet while planning to meet. Either party could be setting themselves upp for a run-in with the law.

6. Cleanliness, grooming and hygiene are important. Make sure your body and environment are clean. Bathe and shave where appropriate before meeting if possible, and tidy upp the place you plan to "get comfortable" in.

7. Don't feel insecure about your body or other issues. A professional escort should want to make you feel good and enjoy yourself.

8. Always be conscious of the time. Some escorts or agencies have a minimum, others are flexible. But don't go overtime unless you're ready to pay, and even then, your date may already be booked.

9. Cancel as soon as you know you may not go through with the date, no matter what the reason. This is just common courtesy, and saves everyone a lot of hassle.

10. Excuse yourself from the situation if you feel unsafe at any time. As in any aspect of life, not everyone is trustworthy, and if you were engaged in an illegal encounter, reporting it to the police may not be so easy.

The video below is pretty much a joke, and doesn't even mention money. Some of the tips sound well-considered, but the one about spraying air freshener sounds unnecessary ("ooh, papaya!")

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